Women in “The Bachelor” A Dependent Portrayal

On March 05, 2002, ABC introduced a series that took the nation by storm. The show features one man and a large group of women on the hunt for “the one.” While it has drawn in millions of viewers and has stood the test of time for nearly 14 years, it does so at the expense of the portrayal of women and their role in heterosexual relationships. There is a notable difference in the way men and women are depicted in regards to the purpose they serve in a relationship with the male typically taking on a more dominate aspect in

“The Bachelor,” and this patriarchal format has a direct negative impact on society.

In order to understand the effect of reality shows on the general public, you must first be familiar with the Social Comparison Theory. According to author Cynthia Frisby, people inherently reach out to see how others live their lives and use these observations to gauge the quality of their own (27). While humans have displayed this type of behavior for many years, now they can do it in the comfort of their living rooms with the availability of reality television. Here, they can watch as real people embark in real-life situations that we all can relate to. CBS news associate Presley Weir summed it up when he said, “It's refreshing to see everyday people getting some of the spotlight rather than just seeing movie stars all the time.”

While viewers may feel it to be refreshing to see everyday people on the television set, what they often fail to realize is that these shows are still manipulated behind the scenes, and one of the ways in which “The Bachelor” has maintained its success is that it tunes into the fantasy of many men to date multiple beautiful women. Also known as “harem dating,” this practice gives women the false impression that their primary purpose in life is to satisfy a man even if that means having to share his attention with many other women.

While the harem dating aspect of the show is obvious, it can be argued that the man must eventually narrow down his choices to a single woman. While it does prevent the show from becoming polygamous in nature, it introduces the problem of the inundation of the patriarchal system and the deterioration of gender roles in the ultimate satisfaction of the man and capitalism. Author Susan J. Douglas points out that, rather than being encouraged to develop a network of dating interests to best ensure she is able to find the most ideal possible mate, she is instead led to put all of her time and energy into a single man who will most likely end up breaking her heart (Douglas).

To further promote patriarchal values, the show cleverly throws in another aspect that demeans the average woman. Anyone who sees just a preview can easily recognize that the contestants share something in common. All are slim, young, and mostly blonde. Their flocking toward the bachelor sends the message to impressionable viewers that, in order for the species to continue on, those women most likely to ensure the perpetuation of the human race must adhere to the common desires of men. The show makes a point to applaud physical features such height, weight and hair color while overlooking the more important values such as intelligence, talents, and values.

Author David Escoffery further points out in his book that the show also promotes the idea that all women are weepy and dependent on men. They are often featured in interviews crying, feeling depressed, and absolutely at their wits end at the thought of the bachelor picking another woman to call his bride. This gives viewers, both men and women, the false impression that for a woman to advance in life, she must have a strong man by her side. However, quite the opposite is true. Escoffery stated, “Many, if not most, of these women are educated, have careers, and own their own businesses. However, so desperate they are to wed, they jump at the chance to marry a man whom they have known for a matter of weeks and who was, in all reality, was cheating on them up until the day he popped the question” (Escoffery).

Not only does the show portray women as dependent on men, but it also gives the impression that they are out to get each other in effort to achieve the aforementioned goal. Viewers are left with the impression that women are unable to work together and harbor antagonism toward those who may pose a threat to their desires to wed the man they have their eyes on. Evidence shows this portrayal has increased the incidents of bullying amongst girls. Even host Chris Harrison pointed out this obvious aspect of the show when he made the comment, “the claws were bound to come out when one man is involved with more than one woman” (Pozner).

There is another aspect of the show that many tend to overlook. Since the contestants are from various parts of the country, it’s unlikely the “winner” will be from an area geographically near the bachelor. Therefore, in order for the two to live happily ever after, one will have to make the sacrifice to leave behind their home and move to live with the other. In the show, it is rare that a conversation is initiated by the woman about whether the man would be willing to move for her. The man, on the other hand, is frequently shown asking his suitors how they would feel about moving to his home city. In fact, nearly half of his conversations end on this topic. Women who are apprehensive or express even the most remote doubt that they would actually move to be with him put themselves at a higher risk of being eliminated from the show.

These findings are not surprising considering men have traditionally dictated where couples settle down. In “The Bachelorette,” the woman is supposed to have the power. However, in analyzing the relationships that lasted more than a few months, it has been revealed that even the Bachelorette typically submits and moves to be with the suitor that she chooses in his home town (Kerr).

"The Bachelor" further promotes the patriarchal system in the type of work both the Bachelor and the contestants perform. Among the careers the women have had include modeling, teaching, going to school, organizing, and other jobs that are typically classified as feminine roles. On the other hand, the men typically have titles including engineer, athlete, executive, entrepreneur, and manager. In one study, over 200 male contestants on The Bachelorette were analyzed, and not one of them had a job that had the word “assistant” in the title. Only two were students, and both of them were eliminated. To further this differentiation between the role of women and men in the work force, of the over 300 women analyzed in the study, there were no engineers, and some even had job titles as demeaning as “free spirit.” Based on these very blatant details of the show that linger right in front of the viewer, it’s obvious they’re geared to present the females as dependent and needy for a man to come in and help them succeed financially (Zhao).

Another point in the “The Bachelor” that’s a little easier to overlook is the average age of the winners. Overall, the men tend to pick women who are far younger than themselves with an average of a six year age gap. Winners are typically around 25 years old. The oldest winner was only 28. Of those contestants who were in their 30’s, none over the age of 32 has yet to make it to the final four. This further goes to show that the primary focus is on the physical attributes of the woman. While they will quickly make their pick amongst the younger of the contestants of whom time has not yet taken its toll over physical attributes, features that should be more important such as skill and knowledge are all too often overlooked, giving the viewing public the impression that what they do and the things they’ve learned in life are trumped by looks.

In addition to age, there is another notable trend when it comes to height, and this has a bearing on both male and female contestants. Those who are taller tend to have a better chance of making it to the end of the competition. The average female is five feet, five inches, and the average male five feet, ten inches. On a national average scale, the female winners are two inches taller than average while the men are three inches taller. It’s not difficult to see that, once again, physical attributes that are commonly displayed in the media as attractive play a role in who is deemed to be the most fit for marriage and a life with someone who is also considered alluring in our society (Zhao).

When making the point that “The Bachelor” is a show that gives viewers the impression that women need men, it is often argued that “The Bachelorette” gives the ladies a chance to dominate and make her own choices when it comes to dating and mating. However, there are certain anomalies that are just too blatant to overlook. For example, Bachelorette Krista was at one point sat down by host Chris Harrison to explain to the public her reasoning for kissing more than one of her suitors. Although bachelors have also engaged in this type of behavior, they were not put in the spotlight to explain why they chose to act in a promiscuous manner. After all, the purpose of the show is to sift through the competition to find the most suitable mate. Even though Krista had plenty of reasoning to back up her actions, she instead pleaded for viewers to understand that she is not a tramp but a good girl.

This is not the only time “slut shaming” has raised its ugly head in the show. Another Bachelorette, Jillian, was also singled out by the host. In this instance, she was being asked to explain why she embarked in a heated make out session with a former bachelor prior to being eliminated from that specific season. Although Jillian did stand up for herself and refused to apologize for her actions as she was a healthy adult capable of embarking on whatever sexual activity she chose, the fact remains that a female was put in the spotlight to offer the public an explanation or apology for acting on their sexual urges while the men were never expected to offer such condolence when they performed similar acts (Hill).

The portrayal that desperation in females is an attractive quality that will give them an advantage in the dating arena occurs with frequency during the rose ceremony. At the end of the show, the Bachelor gives out roses to those he chooses to remain for the next round. For this segment of the show, the women dress up extravagantly in cocktail dresses and very high heels. This gives the impression to the viewing public that using physical attraction as a last ditch effort to impress someone you wish to have a romantic relationship with is a viable option. Instead, this is strictly materialistic and gives the impression that a solid relationship can be forged out of lustful roots. Considering that about 75 percent of people age 18 to 29 spend time watching reality television according to a study performed by Oregon State University, those who are the most active in the dating world are more likely to be impacted by this unrealistic strategy (Friedman).

It’s easy to see that the producers of “The Bachelor” have come up with a plot that has captured the interest of the country, and current ratings don’t indicate we can expect to see its demise any time in the near future. However, as long as viewers engage themselves in this kind of programming, they will continue to encourage the support of a portrayal that women are dependent on men, and the stereotypical 1950s approach to feminism will continue to counter all the hard work and determination women have put into claiming their equal rights. Whether someone is a true fan of the show or just watching to pass the time, they should mindfully consider the consequences in their contribution in upholding such an antiquated gender role of women.

Works Cited

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Escoffery, David. How Real is Reality TV? Essays on Representation and Truth. McFarland & Company. 07 July 2006. Print.

Friedman, Wayne. 2000. “Harsh ‘Reality’ for Networks.” Advertising Age. Volume 71, Issue 50 pp. 4. 04 December.

Frisby, Cynthia. "Getting Real With Reality Television." USA Today 1 Sept. 2004. Vol. 133 No. 2712. Print.

Hill, A. (2005). Reality TV: Audiences and Popular Factual Television. London: Routledge.

Kerr, Millie. "What The Bachelor Says About Women and Modern Day Relationships." The

Huffington Post. 05 March 2012: A1. Print.

Pozner, J. L. (2010). Reality bites back: the troubling truth about guilty pleasure TV.

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